One year ago my life was completely different. I was living in an amazing city and working at a company where I’d dreamed of working for quite some time. On the outside everything seemed perfect - I had an awesome house, lots of friends, parents and family who constantly showered me with praise for all the great things I’d accomplished...but deep down inside I was afraid to admit that things weren't right. I’d finally gotten the job I wanted only to discover it wasn’t really a great fit for me...and every morning I’d wake up and head off to my “dream job” knowing that I’d never really achieve my dreams if I stayed there.
But what else could I do?
I had this secret dream of being a real entrepreneur...not being an insignificant cog in a tech startup machine, but working on something I created myself. I was what you might call a “dream junkie.” Each day after work I’d cover my bedroom walls in giant post-it notes filled with dreams and ideas that would never leave my room. I was too afraid to share them with anyone else...What if no one liked them? What if they weren’t good enough? I’d somehow convinced myself that my ideas weren’t ready to leave my walls and materialize into something real. Maybe I needed more time. Maybe I needed more experience...Maybe I should just stay at this job where I don’t really fit in and things will get better. Staying here is a hell of a lot easier than stepping out into uncharted territory...
So you can imagine my surprise when I walked into my regular weekly meeting with my boss and heard the words, “Today is your last day. We’re letting you go.”
I was completely blindsided. But strangely, I felt no sadness for the job I lost. I was however, overcome with a crippling fear. “I’m not ready for this!” I thought. “I planned on having more time to figure all this out...what the hell am I going to do now?!” My stomach was twisted in knots knowing I’d have to make a choice - find another job where I’d be qualified but miserable, or look for opportunities to begin building the life I dreamed of in my giant post-it note palace.
I’m happy to say I chose the latter...but I always wonder what would have happened if my hand hadn’t been forced. Most people think of me as this courageous bad-ass for picking up and moving to a completely new city to follow my dream of becoming a career coach, but the truth is...If I’d never been forced to do it, I’d probably still be waking up every morning, mildly depressed, with no idea what I was doing with my life.
Thank you, Universe, for kicking me in the ass and tossing me head first into an ocean of fear. If it weren’t for you, I would have never learned to swim. I learned from this experience that the things we are most afraid of, really aren't that scary when we get up close. In most cases, the opposite is true - the most amazing, inspiring, and exhilarating experiences lie just beyond what we are most afraid of.
...Like mustering the courage to leave the job that drains you of your joy. Like telling someone you love them for the very first time. Like uprooting your life and moving to a new city where the only person you know is...well, you.
For me, it’s been launching this website. By publishing it and sharing it with the world, I’m admitting to everyone that I’m giving this whole entrepreneurship thing a try….for real this time. There’s no turning back...I’m opening myself up to the possibility that I could fall flat on my face, embarrass myself, and my business could fail.
(and all of that is a real possibility)
But what if I fly? What if I kill it? What if I become the kick-ass person that I work so hard to coach my clients to be? Yes, hiding behind our fears will guarantee that we’ll never fall flat...but it will also f*cking guarantee that we’ll never get to the place we desperately wish to be. The only thing that we get by holding tight to fear is a guarantee that the life we dream of will remain just that - a dream.
So, today I’m jumping head-first into my fear (this time of my own accord...no more kicks in the ass, universe) and I hope that by sharing this, I can encourage you to do the same. I invite you to check out my site/blog where I’ll be serving you words of empowerment and career strategy realness. Welcome to my world.
Go Forth. Be Brilliant.